The Spiral of Justifications – a lineage of sorrow
I’ll admit it. As a man I have too many times felt the tidal pull of the victim, enhanced by imbalanced justifications in the name of momentary retribution, naming it mindly as setting the record straight – righting a perceived wrong even about trivia that I care not for.
If we are honest with ourselves few if any of us can claim we haven’t engaged in this behaviour, this thinking . Very much bestowed and endorsed by the Patriarchy we live under – the world is full of examples of this in action. Neighbour disputes, in the homes the offices in the battlefields of our ungirded imaginations. A machination of suffering , in the name of being suffered.
So the victim continuum …. its a buck passing of responsibility -this thing did that to me , they “made” me feel or do this. The Made phrase that we use so often is interesting. What happens when we make something – we are creating something – we as in ourselves. So yes we were the creators of our own victimisation.
I’m not, to be clear including situations of genuine physical and mental and emotional abuse here, more specific perception. Where we are of our own free choice, engaging our entire being in this negative loop. It’s the loop of sorrow. Oft the justification for feuds and wars, massacres and persecution. A lack of forgiveness, a lack of compassion in ourselves for ourselves- and therefore of others.
We all experience suffering in a myriad of ways and intensities throughout our lives. Are we justified to victimise ourselves, and others on the back of something that once happened to us that was bad or troubling ? At some point we need to heal, move on and transform this pain, so we can prime our inner and outer worlds for harmony and deep peace. To step out of suffering, away from the bumbling bigotry of self depreciation and that of others.
If we take the time to look into the heart fire and learn to glow and emanate not the victim but the calm abidance then we can forage into happiness and foster love. Is our justification peer reviewed by the universe ? No just by us. We are all unique but part of the Mindstream- the singularity thread. This is how our perceptions can seed in others behaviours. The Nuremberg rallies is a classic example of this, but still it’s a choice , still it’s our individual responsibility and no we can’t justify its presence when loving living, breathing compassion is what we all need to live.
So the next time you say that phrase, or feel that way – that’s ok, just try not to forget you drive the wheel, and if you let go and admonish yourself renouncing your power – then you got no right to blame the external when you made it that way by self design and your own free thought.
The inner words and the outer utterance is our living working mantra. Our deliverance and dedication. What we say echoes and ripples literally as a wave. These waves as the sea can combine and form super waves. A calm sea is friendly on the heart and soul. Smile to the victim in you , embrace it so completely that it is healed. Best way I found to do that is allow it. Like electricity to flow most efficiently it needs least resistance in its circuit so do our hearts . Look for your resistance don’t bolster it with reinforcements and additional battalions of self righteousness. If that becomes our recruiting station tabloid then we already lost out.
Send your wound a kiss of life, smile kindly at your misfortune so it becomes your wine. Breath deeply and gently on your troubled feelings, may they be nurtured tenderly like a sapling of happiness.